If you’ve taken enough gym classes like I have you will begin to notice a few things. Annoying qualities or shall I say habits of your fellow classmates. Repeat offenders I’m talking to you.
Gym classes can be intimidating or uncomfortable enough for most people starting off. Newbies aren’t gonna rock the boat of disapproval too soon. Even class regulars will continuously ignore a situation in order to keep the peace. Well, there will be no waving of white flags over here. So get ya’ lifejackets out. We fittin’ to turn this sucka over.
Time to get down and dirty. For some of you you may have already beaten me to the punch.
1. Wearing funky ass gym clothes Yes, the funk is real people. Even at 10:00 AM in the morning. Hell, 6:00 at night…STOP! being a lazy ass and DO YOUR LAUNDRY on a regular basis. Stop pulling sweat stained clothing from the hamper or the trunk of your car and showing up to class like you about to hit the runway. More like we all want to run away. It’s hard to focus on doing mountain climbers when all you want to do is climb on a person’s back with a bottle of Tide and some dryer sheets.
2. Wearing too much cologne or perfume I’m sorry, is this an open call for a fragrance commercial or Nike Training Club? Unless you’re doing a Sephora demo in the gym’s lobby limit your love for smelling good to 1 to 2 sprays instead of forty-two. In the end we’ll all save a little money. One less weekly purchase of Issey Miyake for you. And no more gas mask searches on eBay for me.
3. Eating in class You read it right. Wish I were kidding. I’m not. Arriving to yoga with a honey bun dangling from your lips just screams serious yogi. It doesn’t. Not only is it disrespectful to the instructor. It’s disrespectful to the practice. Not to mention the class. Nobody wanted a damn honeybun until you walked in rattling your paper loudly. So namaste and Hostess bake shop to you! Get rid of it.
4. Doing acrobatics and gymnastics It’s fine if you’re trying out for the Olympics. Definitely not cool otherwise. Did you see any Olympic Trials banners hanging from the ceiling in kickboxing? Ummm…No. So chill with the toe-stomping and flying elbows to your neighbors. Popular classes are packed enough already. Be aware of space, your neighbors space and your parking space. Because that’s where you’ll end up if we get this Ban All Gymnastics and Stunts In Class petition signed. Okay, there is no petition. Okay, there might be a petition.
5. Not wiping down gym equipment I can’t believe we’re still talking about this in 2014. Excuse me if I’m a bit of a germaphobe. But good health and hygiene goes a long way. Please review no. 1 again. When you’re done using the treadmill, bikes, ellipticals and the list goes on…Wipe them down. There’s usually a spray bottle and paper towels near workout stations. The jury is still out on the contents of the spray bottle. Let’s just hope it’s something that’s strong enough to kill all that crotch love you just left behind.